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Early Phase:
In the course of a developing depression, it is common for there to be a wide variation in mood during the day. The morning is generally unpleasant. Darkness of mood prevails. Then as the day progresses, the mood lightens. By night, a person may feel quite normal.
Gradually a change occurs. The dark times get longer and longer. If sleeplessness develops, the morning hours can be quite terrible. It is at this time that suicidal thoughts can appear. The individual cannot envision living in such darkness, day after day.
Soon the darkness may last the whole day and also the evening. The depressed person dreads going to sleep. All that can be expected is a repetition of the same dark pattern. After a few days of this, the wish to die may become very strong. Depressed persons are not rejecting life as such. They are not rejecting any purpose that they may believe they have on earth or purpose that other people may suggest they have. Depressed persons are rejecting what they have become. “I do not recognize this person.” “I have become such a caricature of my former self!” “Look at me!” “I am completely anxious. I am afraid to be alone in my house. I am terrified when I have free time that I might have to spend at home. I am afraid to do things on my own. Anxiety makes me wring my hands incessantly. I am totally tense. I feel foolish, unable to do things that children easily do.” The death of such a creature would seem to be a blessing. At this stage of the depression, one is at the bottom of the roller coaster. Nor is there any hope of going up.
In the course of a developing depression, it is common for there to be a wide variation in mood during the day. The morning is generally unpleasant. Darkness of mood prevails. Then as the day progresses, the mood lightens. By night, a person may feel quite normal.
Gradually a change occurs. The dark times get longer and longer. If sleeplessness develops, the morning hours can be quite terrible. It is at this time that suicidal thoughts can appear. The individual cannot envision living in such darkness, day after day.
Soon the darkness may last the whole day and also the evening. The depressed person dreads going to sleep. All that can be expected is a repetition of the same dark pattern. After a few days of this, the wish to die may become very strong. Depressed persons are not rejecting life as such. They are not rejecting any purpose that they may believe they have on earth or purpose that other people may suggest they have. Depressed persons are rejecting what they have become. “I do not recognize this person.” “I have become such a caricature of my former self!” “Look at me!” “I am completely anxious. I am afraid to be alone in my house. I am terrified when I have free time that I might have to spend at home. I am afraid to do things on my own. Anxiety makes me wring my hands incessantly. I am totally tense. I feel foolish, unable to do things that children easily do.” The death of such a creature would seem to be a blessing. At this stage of the depression, one is at the bottom of the roller coaster. Nor is there any hope of going up.
